The Brutal Truth About Growth
Sometimes you have to walk alone if you want to move forward and build a life of real discipline. A few days ago, I found myself sitting at a party surrounded by people, laughing, playing cards, and trying to relearn a game I had not played in nearly twenty years. On the drive home, my daughter told me something that stuck with me. She said she felt socially awkward and just wanted to be at home.
I understood exactly what she meant. Not because I wanted to leave the party, because anyone was rude, or because anything bad happened. I understood because there have been many chapters in my life where I felt like I was walking alone. There were years when I was starting over from rock bottom, raising my daughter on my own, and mowing yards during the day while trying to build a better future at night.
For a long time, I wished things were different. I wished I had more help. More support. More company. But eventually, I learned something important: You have to stop focusing on what is missing and start building with what you have.
Why Sometimes You Have to Walk Alone
Sometimes you have to walk alone because there is just no one else around to help carry all of life’s responsibilities with you.
One of the main reasons I chose landscaping was because I really didn’t have a choice. I didn’t have a babysitter. I didn’t have family stepping in whenever life got difficult. I didn’t have extra money to pay someone to watch my daughter on nights or weekends. Traditional jobs were difficult because every time something came up with my child, it became a problem. I was expected to choose between being a good employee and being a good parent.
Landscaping gave me flexibility. If my daughter needed me, I could call a client and reschedule for tomorrow. So I built a life around the responsibilities I had instead of wishing I had different ones. Looking back, many of the roads I traveled were not choices at all. They were responsibilities. I simply did what I had to do to keep moving forward.
The same lesson showed up in my business. Over the years, I tried hiring helpers for my landscaping route. I wanted the help, but many of the people who wanted the job didn’t want the responsibility.
- Some wouldn’t be out of bed when I arrived to pick them up.
- Some spent more time on their phones than working.
- Some always seemed to need another smoke break when there was work to be done.
Meanwhile, I was trying to build a reputation that fed my family. Every yard had my name attached to it, and every client was trusting me with their property. Eventually, I realized that bringing unreliable people into the business created more problems than it solved. Much like I discussed in The Cost of Overgiving: The Silent Success Killer, constantly carrying other people’s responsibilities can drain your energy and slow your progress. So once again, I found myself walking alone. Not because I preferred it. Because the standards I was trying to maintain mattered more than having company.
The Mistake People Make When They Feel Alone
The biggest mistake people make when they find themselves alone is believing they should sit there and wait for life to happen. They wait for a relationship, for motivation, for better circumstances, or for someone to rescue them. Or, they keep company with people who drain their energy, discourage their growth, and make excuses for why nothing ever changes. Meanwhile, years pass.
I understand the temptation because I lived it. There were years when I felt lonely, wishing I had companionship and someone to help carry the load. There were nights when I cried because I was tired of carrying everything by myself.
But eventually, I realized something: feeling sorry for myself wasn’t changing anything. The loneliness and the wishing weren’t improving my life or my future. Only action did.
Use the Season You Have
Because I was raising my daughter alone, my evenings and weekends looked different than most people’s. I couldn’t just leave whenever I wanted, disappear for the weekend, or hand my responsibilities off to someone else. I had a choice: I could sit at home feeling sorry for myself, or I could build.
So I built. Little by little, I stopped focusing on what I couldn’t do and started focusing on what I could do. That single shift changed everything. Instead of wasting time on empty distractions, I used my quiet evenings to execute:
- I worked in the yard and learned new skills.
- I read books and created content.
- I started YouTube channels and built a website.
- I wrote articles and created products.
Most people think they are only wasting an hour here and there scrolling social media, watching television, or entertaining distractions. But those hours add up. The same way bad habits compound, productive habits compound too. Every hour you spend improving yourself becomes part of the future you are creating.
Many people waste years waiting for better circumstances before they start. The truth is that your current situation may be the exact thing that forces you to become stronger, more disciplined, and more resourceful than you would have otherwise become. When you are walking alone, time is your greatest asset. Use it long enough to discover exactly what you are capable of building.
The same idea is reflected in my video, Stop Killing Time: Inspiring Words to Transform Your Productivity, which you can watch below.
Learn How to Walk Alone
One of the most important lessons I wanted my daughter to learn is that sometimes in life you are going to be alone. Not forever, and not because nobody cares about you, but because life has seasons where you have to carry the weight yourself. Relationships and partnerships are valuable. However, no person is guaranteed. People change, circumstances shift, and life changes. That is why learning how to walk alone is such an important skill.
I wanted my daughter to know she could make a way for herself if she ever had to. Not because I wanted her to be alone, but because I wanted her to be capable. If you can stand on your own feet, handle your responsibilities, and continue moving forward without someone rescuing you, then every relationship becomes a choice instead of a necessity. There is freedom in that.
Keep Walking Anyway
Looking back, something else happened that surprised me. During the years I spent wishing I wasn’t alone, something shifted when I started finding ways to fill my time. When I got busy doing that, somewhere along the line the loneliness lost its grip, and I went from wishing life was different to becoming deeply invested in the life I was creating.
I filled my time with work, learning, creating, and projects that could improve my future. That is why I found it interesting sitting at that party the other night. After spending so long wishing for company, I realized that constant company wasn’t really what I wanted anymore. Not because people are bad or friendships don’t matter, but because I had spent so many years building a life with purpose that I no longer needed constant distractions from it.
The biggest lesson I learned is this: If you find yourself walking alone, don’t waste the season sitting around feeling sorry for yourself or waiting for life to happen. Use the time, the silence, and the space to move your life forward. One day you may look back and realize that the season you hated the most was actually the season that built the person you became. When you have to walk alone, build something. Your legacy depends on it.
Ready to build something with the season you’re in? Visit the Caliber Motivation Co. shop for journals, planners, and tools designed to help you create a life of discipline, growth, and legacy.
